DCL 3.3 Inspiration | The Evil, The Foolish, The Wise
Outline of Session
- That Guy
- The diagnostic question
- Three categories of people
- Identifying a Wise person
- Dealing with a Wise person
- Identifying a Fool
- Dealing with a Fool
- Identifying an Evil person
- Dealing with an Evil person
- Your call
Conference Session by Henry Cloud
(Try and make space to watch this video in one sitting.)
1. Personal Reflection: Write down the key insight from this session that you can personally take away.
2. As Dr. Henry Cloud spoke, certain individuals might have immediately leapt to mind. You may have “that guy” or “that woman” in your ministry or organisation who is blocking your vision. If it’s appropriate for the team you have gathered to discuss that individual or those individuals, review the following chart and discuss which category you believe they fall in. Then, referring to the chart of strategies, decide on your next step for addressing the situation.
If you discern a group discussion about specific individuals would be inappropriate, individually review the following chart considering the “problem people” in your life. Discern which category they fall in, and decide if it’s time for you to continue to invest effort with someone or tell them you are done talking about it. You can record any next steps in the space provided or on a flipchart.
Identifying the Wise Person
- When the truth comes to them, they change themselves to match reality.
- They thank you for giving them feedback.
Identifying the Fool
- When the truth comes to them, they try to change the truth instead of changing themselves.
- They excuse, minimise or shoot the messenger.
- They externalise the issue (i.e. it’s never their fault).
- They get angry.
- They have the meeting after the meeting.
Identifying the Evil Person
- When faced with the truth, they threaten destruction.
- They want to inflict pain.
Strategies for Dealing with a Wise Person
- Talk to them.
- Make sure they’re a match for what you need.
- Keep them challenged appropriately.
Strategies for Dealing with a Fool
- Stop talking about the problem and start talking about how talking doesn’t work.
- Tell them you’re feeling hopeless.
- Protect what you’re leading by setting limits.
- Ask them how to talk to them in a way that will make a difference.
- Ask them what should happen if they still don’t change.
- Get specific about consequences.
Strategies for Dealing with an Evil Person
- Warn them twice, and then have nothing to do with them.
- Involve attorneys and the police as appropriate.
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